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Women: Perpetual monarchy, unless…

by on February 29, 2012

This post, is more of a continuation to the last post made by Setu; for he had rightly mentioned that there’s a lot unsaid, not that he intended to; whatever, heck, I’d like to add certain happenings that bug me to an extent that I mindlessly hurl abuses at people at people not remotely associated with the cause. Getting straight to the point(s), clubbing together what Setu has aforementioned and rants of my own. No I probably wont categorize them, my posts are as random as they can be anyways.

Firstly, for quite a population in our country, female children are considered a liability. A vexatious object, a beautiful creation, which is to be loathed. The funny part being, not only is the hatred parted by masculine side of the family; but the feminine half exchanges the un-pleasantries never the less.  Believe me, please do; I write this not on witnessing some melodramatic idiot-box crap; but my own discretion of events witnessed first-hand. I was 13 years old then, but had a fair sense of rage on the plight of my then female colleagues. The delivery ward, the families, some overjoyed, some worried. Worried about the third girl child delivered, the anguish of broken expectations of having a male child starkly written on their faces, the fear of the third marriage that they will have to conduct; the misery I expected that mother to go through in the days to come…

Lashed, slapped and kicked women have been for embalming a curse in the family by delivering but boys, torched at times, just because the husband was incapable of producing a sperm carrying an y chromosome. And that creep, after screwing his so called wife just stands and watches his MOTHER do the bashing, and at times, joins her. There are times I wish the torture devices in Saw really existed. I’d love to cut such people up too.

There’s a step two as well. When the initial disappointment of watching the girl child being pulled (or pushed, whatever) out of the womb gets past, the next test is that of the colour. And I hate the way MS Word puts that squiggly red underline and tells me that ‘colour’ is spelt ‘color’. It’s always gonna be ‘colour’ for me, get that straight you American prick. I have seen FAMILIES FROWN ON KNOWING THAT THE GIRL IS WHEATISH IN COMPLEXION. “KNOWING”. DO YOU GET IT? ON BEING TOLD, OVER TELEPHONES, THAT IT’S A GIRL, AND SHES BROWN. I was in a train and when I overheard this guy talking and ‘tsk-tsk’ing, I swear I wanted to push him off that running train, hoping he bangs on a rod and another train runs over him. GOD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! And these advertisements on fairness creams and products; they just leave me flabbergasted at times! I do not understand on what’s about this race to get fair! Why does complexion matter at-all?! Blemishes, pimples, dark spots and stuff, I Understand (I don’t, I can just name them); but why do you want to change a shade of paint that’s forever yours?  And that ‘excuse’, I just hate to, loath to, feel deeply disgusted to say that it’s the mothers and grand-mothers who cruelly tell the daughters that “Aisi kaali rahi toh koi acha milna mushkil hoga hume. Huliya Sudhaar khudka”. That literally translates to ‘If you remain this dark, it’ll be difficult for us to find a suitable groom. Improve the way you look and carry yourself”. Accusations imposed on the poor thing carrying her wretched parents hopeless genes, and also the pre-declaration of them finding the partner she will be spending 70% of her life with. Her soul mate, a man she’ll have to learn to love and respect eventually, regardless of what he is and how he behaves. The concept of arranged marriages may fancy some, but sorry, no matter how much you convince me, I will forever loathe them. I always prefer custom-built PC’s anyways.

Ah yes, the ambitions. “Kya zarurat hai aur aage padhneki? Tu chup chaap kitchen ka kaam sikh warna sasuraal ke taane khaane padege hume; sun-na padega ki maa ne kuch sikhaya nahi.” Which translates to ‘What’s the need of studying furthermore? Just shut up and learn the kitchen work otherwise we’ll have to endure the taunts of your in-laws, they’ll say that the mother has taught you nothing”.  Yeah, I agree that kitchen work and household chores are to be learnt. BUT NOT BY WOMEN ALONE. NOT WHEN THERE’S AN EQUALLY AGED BROTHER IN THE HOUSE SITTING AND CHUCKLING AT THE PLIGHT OF HIS SISTER WATCHING TELEVISION AND EATING CHEETOS. I’m a pretty good chef myself and I feel insanely lucky to be brought up in a house where such nonsense doesn’t occur. Would it, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t let it last for long. I can go on and on about this stupid practice that’s common in households, even valid at times cause the girls are plain lazy at times; but the way its said. But the way they indicate that your future lies as a housewife, cleaning, mopping cooking… Damn you. Damn you all. And what on earth do you mean by “Kya zaroorat hai?” You bunch of dimwitted gits! And I bellow fire.

As for the leer and cheap jokes; I tend to walk away after a stifled shut up. That doesn’t stop them and never will. I just walk off because cheap bastards are like pests, omnipresent. But that most definitely is not the reason for disallowing her for outings with her best friends. No, it isn’t.  There’re a host of reasons, criteria’s, I daresay, for a girl, to qualify before she can head out and have a pleasant day with her friends. First the members are asked. Common practice, happens in general, to know whom to contact just in case something happens and stuff. But for many some, It is to find out the Girl : Boy ratio. If boys exceed, it’s a no mostly. If not, it will be considered, unless it’s an all girls outing. Yes. All of us guys are rapists. And yeah, if you see a group of fella’s having a great time together, you most definitely deem the girls as sluts and go “Tch tch tch look at that girl with so many guys”. You definitely don’t mind your own business and look at the miserable and stupid life you’ve lived so long. Seriously, say that in front of me, I will flog you, so hard, that Stephen hawking will appear an athlete to you. Oh and the racism. Sometimes they are refrained if the company consists of a GIRL (or guy or an eunuch) of some other sect of the society.

But in reality, will I? Will I do anything at-all? If I hear a mother talk bullshit to her daughter, will I intervene and fight? Can I be rude to a seemingly nonsensical being? No. I cannot. Constrained and narrow mentalities continue to prevail, with some amongst us in our generation who still believe in such bullshit, about pride and society and crap. In the text above I have tried to highlight a fact; that the mothers, grandmothers who have gone through all these inane circumstances; continue to do so with their very children, their newly born daughters; beings, that can be given a new lease of life, of life without those prevailing boundaries, of life filled with joy, content and fulfillment. I have done and fought my best against these slime in nostril ideologies, with some (if compared with the number of people suffering, negligible) amount of success. The ones who hold the trigger are you guys. You can fire the bullet and blast this melancholy little by little. Or you can withhold the bullet and gunpowder and let the corrosion continue within. Please guys, I really really request you to act; to fight back injustice happening to you and/or people whose suffering you witness. I’m not asking you to start a catfight if your mother asks you to cook or something, but if she’s talking the type of aforementioned bullshit; stand up. Fight back. AND PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT LET THIS TYRANNY RESUME IN THE GENERATIONS TO COME. GROW UP. Stop this un-necessary injustice. And I feel no shame in admitting that what Setu rightly said in his post, “No man will ever acknowledge that her life is harder than his. If you ask me, I would say that the man who cannot acknowledge this, is a male chauvinist coward.”

This ones to the society’s unsung heroes, this one’s for the brave hearts bearing and braving every passing day, this one’s for women; hopefully to not be vowed for woes hence, atleast after going through the two pieces of text above; if at all they have had an impact on you.

Your responses are most welcome in the comment section below.

Signing off, Raj.

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